Through everything that has happened one of my parents' dreams are coming true. They had been looking to move back to Callahan ever since we came back from Virginia. They kept putting it off because daddy was closer to the Mill where they lived now. However, momma is following that dream now and moving closer to all of her family. She signed papers today to start building a home in our neighborhood (the exact home she and daddy had picked out), across the street and two lots down from us. :-)
Now, some of you may say "oh no!" But that's not the case here. I don't have a mom that wants to constantly be in my business. And I know that my son will help her through this so much and being closer to her side of the family will make a huge difference in the long run. However, I do ask you to pray for her. This is a big deal for all of us. I don't want her to feel like leaving that house is leaving daddy behind. We're going to be going through a lot of his possessions and packing things up and figuring out what to do with it all. Pray that this be a happy time full of wonderful, everlasting memories.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Normal is just a setting on the washing machine...
At work today I noticed that there is a book for the teachers in the library called "Normal is just a setting on the washing machine." You have no idea how true that is to me right now.
I have found that I do not feel normal anymore... There seems to be a massive hole in my body and soul. I always knew that losing my dad would be hard, but I honestly never thought it would be this difficult... I always knew that when the time came, he would be in a better place and not in pain anymore...but the truth is, it still hurts. I feel that he was taken too suddenly...I expected the time to come after he had stopped working, couldn't do anything for himself...but he was still working, doing everything for himself.
I honestly do not know what normal feels like anymore...I don't know what it feels like to go to bed at night with a smile on my face, or go into my mom's house and not feel like my dad will come around the corner and ask Luke if he is ready for some groceries. I can't walk into the church without seeing my father's casket laying at the front. I drive to my parent's house and see daddy's truck in the driveway and think daddy's home early.
How do you go back to the way life was...or do you? Do you just accept that everything is different and go about your business?
The reality is that life goes on...no one else's stopped the day daddy died. So I guess the title of the book is right...Normal really is just a setting on the washing machine.
I have found that I do not feel normal anymore... There seems to be a massive hole in my body and soul. I always knew that losing my dad would be hard, but I honestly never thought it would be this difficult... I always knew that when the time came, he would be in a better place and not in pain anymore...but the truth is, it still hurts. I feel that he was taken too suddenly...I expected the time to come after he had stopped working, couldn't do anything for himself...but he was still working, doing everything for himself.
I honestly do not know what normal feels like anymore...I don't know what it feels like to go to bed at night with a smile on my face, or go into my mom's house and not feel like my dad will come around the corner and ask Luke if he is ready for some groceries. I can't walk into the church without seeing my father's casket laying at the front. I drive to my parent's house and see daddy's truck in the driveway and think daddy's home early.
How do you go back to the way life was...or do you? Do you just accept that everything is different and go about your business?
The reality is that life goes on...no one else's stopped the day daddy died. So I guess the title of the book is right...Normal really is just a setting on the washing machine.
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